Is your life ruled by love or by fear? Love and fear are opposite emotional attitudes that shape our life in very different ways. The psychoanalyst John McMurray describes the difference like this:
"The fear-determined have no sun in themselves and go
Life is a lot more beautiful and vivid if it is determined by love and not by fear. I’m sure you can imagine that someone determined completely by love would be a kind of saint. In contrast, most of us ordinary human beings are determined by both forces, love and fear. However, in my experience, even a tiny shift towards love—and away from fear—can bring a lot more Happiness.
Here are 7 tips that you can move towards love and away from fear.
1. Cultivate gratitude
Gratitude makes us feel happier. If you remember to be grateful for the blessings of your life, you start to feel more connected to yourself and others. When you let go of niggles and embrace gratitude instead, love springs up.
2. Reality-test your fear
Sometimes fear can be like a cloud that keeps out the sunlight. Then everything feels huge and oppressive. A simple way to deal with fear is to test its reality. Write down three things that you are afraid of. Then look at each point and ask yourself, “Is this fear really grounded in reality?” I know that when I do this, I often find that my fears are unfounded. It’s like living in a shadow-land, peering into the future and expecting bad things to happen.
3. Take action
Fear is often born out of inaction. For example, if you get a sense that your health is impaired, but you don't check it out with a doctor, you may start to imagine that you are heading for a major health crisis. (I could fill a whole notebook with illnesses I once thought I had - but never actually got!) Once you've been to a doctor and reviewed the problems, the steps towards renewed health may seem much more manageable.
Taking action is the best antidote to fear. Once you start to address the issues one by one, fears shrink and may even disappear.
4. Cultivate friendships
Good friends are
5. Be generous
In the quote above, John McMurray points out that fear-determined people have no sun in themselves and "go
6. Practise kindness
Kindness is 'love-in-action'. It’s good to make a habit of it. The trick is to notice what people need. Here is an example: yesterday I was talking to a stall-holder at a farmers' market who fashions wooden spoons. He saw that I was carrying a bag of luscious, fresh corncobs. He said, "Oh, they look nice!" Then he sighed, "Oh well, by the time I've finished selling at my stand they’ll have all gone." I offered to get some for him. It was a small action but it made us both feel good. Try and spot one occasion each day when you can be of help.
7. Open your awareness
Fear tends to make us focus inwards. A way out of is to do the opposite and open your awareness to include everything around you. For example, if you notice anxious thoughts, open you mind and listen to sounds around you. Maybe you can hear birdsong, or traffic noise, or children playing. This has an instant calming effect and fear wanes.
If you follow these 7 tips, you'll move towards more love and less fear in your life. Soon you will notice an upsurge of Happiness and contentment, instead of fear and anxiety.
What is your experience of living with love or with fear? Maybe you could share your special way of inviting love into your life and saying "good-bye" to fear?
相关单词：determined
determined解释：adj.坚定的；有决心的
determined例句：
I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。
相关单词：gratitude
gratitude解释：adj.感激，感谢
gratitude例句：
I have expressed the depth of my gratitude to him.我向他表示了深切的谢意。
She could not help her tears of gratitude rolling down her face.她感激的泪珠禁不住沿着面颊流了下来。
相关单词：blessings
blessings解释：n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福
blessings例句：
Afflictions are sometimes blessings in disguise. 塞翁失马，焉知非福。 来自《简明英汉词典》
We don't rely on blessings from Heaven. 我们不靠老天保佑。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
相关单词：impaired
impaired解释：adj.受损的；出毛病的；有（身体或智力）缺陷的v.损害，削弱( impair的过去式和过去分词 )
impaired例句：
Much reading has impaired his vision. 大量读书损害了他的视力。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
His hearing is somewhat impaired. 他的听觉已受到一定程度的损害。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
相关单词：antidote
antidote解释：n.解毒药，解毒剂
antidote例句：
There is no known antidote for this poison.这种毒药没有解药。
Chinese physicians used it as an antidote for snake poison.中医师用它来解蛇毒。
相关单词：lasting
lasting解释：adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持
lasting例句：
The lasting war debased the value of the dollar.持久的战争使美元贬值。
We hope for a lasting settlement of all these troubles.我们希望这些纠纷能获得永久的解决。
相关单词：pebble
pebble解释：n.卵石，小圆石
pebble例句：
The bird mistook the pebble for egg and tried to hatch it.这只鸟错把卵石当蛋，想去孵它。
The pebble made a ripple on the surface of the lake.石子在湖面上激起一个涟漪。
相关单词：kindly
kindly解释：adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地
kindly例句：
Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。
相关单词：luscious
luscious解释：adj.美味的；芬芳的；肉感的，引与性欲的
luscious例句：
The watermelon was very luscious.Everyone wanted another slice.西瓜很可口，每个人都想再来一片。
What I like most
相关单词：awareness
awareness解释：n.意识，觉悟，懂事，明智
awareness例句：
There is a general awareness that smoking is harmful.人们普遍认识到吸烟有害健康。
Environmental awareness has increased over the years.这些年来人们的环境意识增强了。
相关单词：wanes
wanes解释：v.衰落( wane的第三人称单数 )；（月）亏；变小；变暗淡
wanes例句：
The moon waxes till it becomes full, and then wanes. 月亮渐盈，直到正圆，然后消亏。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
The moon waxes and wanes every month. 月亮每个月都有圆缺。 来自《简明英汉词典》
相关单词：inviting
inviting解释：adj.诱人的，引人注目的
inviting例句：
An inviting smell of coffee wafted into the room.一股诱人的咖啡香味飘进了房间。
The kitchen smelled warm and inviting and blessedly familiar.这间厨房的味道温暖诱人，使人感到亲切温馨。
